Pace Mediation is a St. Louis-based mediation practice that helps families have productive, problem-solving conversations and reach agreements that support their next steps.

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Mediator, my goal is to support people as they explore options that recognizes their unique situation and focuses on children’s well-being during the child custody process. I work with families in St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Jefferson County, and St. Charles County, and I can help connect clients with trusted mental health professionals and family law attorneys when additional support would be helpful.

Mediation is an efficient and cost effective process designed to help individuals move through completing the entire process of divorce or part of the divorce. Mediation is designed to minimize conflict and can be used to complete a divorce in a fraction of the time that would normally be spent in litigation.   Each party retains control and an agreement is reached only when both parties find the terms are acceptable.

Mediation is:

Voluntary

Future-focused

Solution-focused

Confidential

Mediators are neutral professionals. Their role is to help individuals clearly define issues, keep lines of communication open and promote discussion and resolution. Mediators do not make decisions for a couple.  Rather the couple is in charge of making their own decisions about what the future, children’s future and finances.

Some of the issues that mediation addresses are: plans for parenting children, division of property and future financial provisions. Mediation can be done both pre and post divorce decree.

It is possible to come to resolution of conflict in the face of anger, resentment and fear.

Frequently Asked Questions about Mediation:

1. Do I have to get along with my spouse or co-parent to use mediation? No. These conversations can be hard and activate lots of emotions for folks. Most people don’t always get along with each other, I would say the most successful mediations are ones where each person wants to solve the problems and make decisions together, even if it is challenging. And, we know that people who are able to work together to solve their problems generally feel more satisfied with the decisions they make.
2. How is mediation different from going to court? Mediation is a process done outside of the court system. It is a place where people work together to have the discussions needed to make the decisions for divorce or co-parenting. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a lawyer in the mediation process.
3. Do I have to have an attorney before I start mediation? No. Many people come to mediation to reach their agreements before they work with an attorney to file any documents with the court. You can explore options, make decisions, and even begin implementing some of your decisions, if you agree. Filing anything with the court will require an attorney’s help, and in mediation we can talk about the best approach.
4. Can we do mediation even if one of us already has a lawyer? Yes. You can use mediation to reach agreements even if one or both of you has a lawyer. You should let your lawyer know that you’re going to be working in mediation and what your agreed-upon topics might be. Your lawyer can be helpful in helping you prepare for mediation and can review any agreements you reach to be sure that they’re considered and appropriate.
5. Do lawyers come to mediation? Generally, attorneys do not come to mediation with clients, but that is a possibility. In my practice, working with an attorney can be helpful when people may need legal guidance or need a realistic view of what might happen if you don’t find agreement. An attorney can also help inform the legalities of decisions that need to be made. Working with an attorney can be helpful, even if they’re not in the mediation session with us.
6. Is mediation legally binding? No. The agreements you reach in mediation are ones that you’ve worked together to reach. Some decisions need to be filed with the court, to be turned into a court order; for instance, if you are getting divorced or creating or changing a parenting plan you will need to have your settlement documents or parenting plan filed and made a court order in order for them to be legally binding. In mediation we work to reach agreements. They become legally binding when they are filed with the court.
7. How long does mediation take? It is a little hard to answer this, it depends heavily on the number of agreements that need to be reached and your ability to reach agreements. Some things folks may agree on quickly. Some things may need more information, more discussion, and more options generated until each person is able to say yes to a decision. Generally, I tell folks that it will be less than 10 sessions. Sessions are generally focused on one of the major topics, so if you have fewer topics to cover—for instance, if you don’t have children, or we are only working on agreements about the children —there would be fewer meetings.
8. What if we don’t reach all our agreements in mediation? Using mediation to reach any of your agreements can be helpful. You’re working together, you’re figuring out what areas you’re able to reach compromise on, and you’re figuring out if there is more detail or legal support you may need. Any agreements you reach in mediation can go with you, even if you transition into another process for divorce, like litigation. The agreements you reach, if you want to honor them, can be incorporated into any of your final settlement documents.
9. Who is a good fit for mediation? I think people who are a good fit for mediation have a level of trust and respect for the other person. Breaches of trust or moments of disrespectfulness happen, but if each person wants to think together about what the future looks like for themselves and their kids, mediation is a good fit. People who want to be intentional around restructuring the relationship moving forward, who can think through things together and offer ideas in respectful ways, can be a good fit. The mediation process often, from my perspective, becomes a team of three. Part of my job is to make sure people are thinking about all the important topics needed to be decided and to share guidance for productive discussions. It’s their job to think through the options together to find the agreement that works best for both people. If you have a desire to reach agreements that work as well as possible for both people and kids, then mediation can be a really good fit.